You Only Know What You Know | Teen Mental Health 101 featuring Dr. David Schreiber and Dr. Claudia Welke
In this episode, hosts Beth Hope, LCSW, and Britt Teasdale are joined by Compass Health Center co-founders and psychiatrists Dr. David Schreiber and Dr. Claudia Welke for an honest, grounding conversation about teen mental health.
Together, they explore what today’s teens are really struggling with—from chronic overwhelm and emotional dysregulation to the pressure of constant connection—and why it can be so hard for parents to know what’s “normal” versus what may signal a need for support. Drawing from decades of clinical experience and their own perspectives as parents, David and Claudia help demystify the mental health landscape, offering clarity without alarm and guidance without fear-based messaging.
This episode addresses the questions parents are asking every day: How do I know when to step in? Who should my child talk to? How do I balance resilience and support? And how can I stay grounded when everything feels urgent?
Whether your teen is thriving, struggling, or somewhere in between, this conversation offers reassurance, perspective, and practical insight—reminding parents that noticing, staying curious, and showing up matter more than having all the answers.
Listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube:
Read the Full Podcast Transcript
Britt Teasdale (00:00)
Welcome to You Only Know What You Know—a podcast by Compass Health Center about the sometimes messy, always meaningful work of parenting and mental health. I’m Britt Teasdale, a writer, photographer, and parent of two young children.
Beth Hope (00:13)
And I’m Beth Hope, a clinician with more than 20 years of experience in youth mental health—and a mom of two teens. We’re here to bring honest conversations, clinical insight, and real-life parenting perspective to the table.
Britt Teasdale (00:24)
Today we’re talking about teen mental health. For so many parents, it can feel hard to know what’s typical—and what’s not.
How do we know what to do and where to go when our child is struggling?
What do we do when a teen seems to shut down or feels overwhelmed?
This episode is about meeting teens where they are—and giving parents permission to take a breath.
Britt Teasdale (00:49)
Hi, Beth. This is our first podcast episode and I’m really excited. I can’t believe today’s the day we’re recording it. I was up for most of last night with my one-year-old—which I feel like is quite fitting for the first day. So, here we are, and it’s going to be great.
We know that today’s teens are growing up in a different world than we—their parents—did. And while the headlines talk about the current youth mental health crisis, what does that actually mean? What are teens struggling with, and how can we show up for them?
Beth Hope (01:18)
Joining us today are Dr. David Schreiber and Dr. Claudia Welke—both child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrists at Compass Health Center. They’ve spent decades supporting children, teens, and families through mental health challenges, and they’re also parents. Today, they’re going to share what they’ve learned from both sides of the conversation.
Thank you guys so much for joining us—and being our guinea pigs for our first episode.
To kick us off, it would be great for each of you to tell us a little bit about yourselves and your professional backgrounds.
Claudia Welke (01:47)
Beth and Britt, thanks so much. I’m so excited about this as well. I’m Claudia Welke. I’m a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist—and I’m also the mother of three. I have one adolescent and two young adult children. I’m really excited to shed light on this topic that’s on everyone’s mind.
David Schreiber (02:06)
I’m David Schreiber. I’m a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist as well. I’m a father of five children: two young adults, two teens, and one soon-to-be teen. Britt, it’s funny—you said you had a one-year-old you were up with. I was up with my child, who’s much older than yours, until 2:30 in the morning. So I guess we’re always up with our children.
Britt Teasdale (02:22)
We’re always up. It’s a common thread in parenting—we never sleep.
Beth Hope (02:25)
It never ends.
Britt Teasdale (02:28)
Thank you so much for telling us a little bit about yourselves. Is there something about your background we might not know—something we wouldn’t necessarily see in your online bios?
Claudia Welke (02:38)
I think the one thing I’ll say is: throughout my career, I’ve gotten a lot of questions from friends or people in the community like, “Well, you’re a psychiatrist—how do you handle this at home?” And the one thing I always say is: yes, I’m a psychiatrist professionally, but when it comes to what’s happening at home, it all goes out the window. I’m just a parent with my kids. We may have this professional side of ourselves, but when you’re dealing with your kids at home, it’s a whole different story.
Beth Hope (03:04)
We have two therapists in my family, and I can help other people—but not myself.
David Schreiber (03:09)
If my kids want to give me a zinger, they tell me I’m the worst psychiatrist.
Claudia Welke (03:13)
Yes. My daughter will say, “You’re a psychiatrist—why aren’t you doing a better job?”
Britt Teasdale (03:20)
That makes me feel a lot better—as someone who’s not a clinician or a doctor or anything. Just knowing we’re all dealing with the same thing makes me feel a lot better.
Beth Hope (03:30)
Some of our goals for today are to talk about what you’re seeing out there for kids, teens, and young adults in terms of mental health. And later on, we’d love to hear suggestions or advice—based on what you’re seeing and what families are asking.
To start, tell us what you’re seeing teens and young adults struggling with—whether it’s emotionally, socially, developmentally. I’m sure it’s a lot.
Claudia Welke (03:58)
I think what I’d say is: teens are struggling with being overwhelmed in every way. It’s not just one aspect of their life—it feels like they’re saying, “My whole life is overwhelming.” It’s academic, it’s social, and it can feel like they’re never “off”—like they never have time to relax.
Think about the way we grew up: we had endpoints to our socialization. And given the world we live in now—social media, cell phone usage—they’re “on” all the time. They might be at home, in their room, which used to be time to decompress. They don’t have that anymore.
They’re still being—some might say even assaulted—by what’s happening on social media: “This group of friends is out getting ice cream right now,” or “They’re at a party right now, and I’m at home.”
So it’s this sense of never having time to be off. And that’s a lot.
And they’re also having more difficulty with emotional regulation. The pressures of the world are different than they used to be. We’ve got kids dealing with high levels of pressure—but they’re still kids. It’s an adolescent brain. We know the brain doesn’t fully develop until about 25. So we’re talking about teenagers who haven’t fully developed those emotional regulation skills yet.
So you put those two pieces together—more pressure and fewer skills—and we’re seeing a lot of emotional output. That can look like irritability, acting out, school avoidance, perfectionism… it comes out in different ways. But at the end of the day, they’re struggling.
David Schreiber (05:46)
As clinicians, we always look for symptoms—and symptoms are deviations from the norm. The problem I’m worried about is that kids aren’t complaining sometimes. They’ve accepted so many of these behaviors as normalized, and that scares me.
In addition to stress, it’s expectations—kids’ expectations of what they think they should be, where they should be, and what they should be doing. It’s unrealistic and unfair. But again, those expectations become so normalized. As a society, we’ve normalized so many unhealthy behaviors that years ago we would have called symptoms. Now we’re saying it’s normal—and that’s a problem.
Beth Hope (06:23)
I hear this often from parents: “But everything is important.” And while parents don’t want to put pressure on their kids—and they’d probably agree with everything you just said—how do we set limits when it actually does feel important?
I didn’t want to get my kid a cell phone or give them social media until at least eighth grade, but then they’re missing out on plans. And I don’t want to pressure my kids to get certain grades or participate in a bajillion clubs because it’s too much—but they’re also hearing that in order to pursue collegiate goals, they have to do these things.
So when everything feels really real and important to teens—and their parents—it can be so hard to know how to guide them. Do you have any advice for parents in that realm?
Claudia Welke (07:14)
It’s such an important point. Parents need grace—and they need to give themselves grace and compassion. It’s harder than ever to parent kids. The world kids are living in is challenging—and it’s also challenging for parents. It’s a balancing act.
And the truth is: there’s no right answer. There’s no perfect way of doing this. Every child is an individual. Even within a family—personally, I have three kids, and they’re all different. I have to parent them very differently, and that makes it challenging, because you’re constantly making decisions in real time.
I don’t know that there’s a perfect answer. What I tend to do is zoom out and ask: what are we doing as a society? What can we do as communities? Parents are doing the best they can in their families, but we need to zoom out.
We are starting to see movement—things like phones being checked in at the beginning of class. And we’ve seen what Australia has done recently. So I think we’re making some movement. And it’s just… hard.
David Schreiber (08:32)
Last night, my daughter is turning the age where, in my household, you get a phone. And typical me—I’m a dad who likes to take videos—I was taking a video and I said to her, “I know you’ve been waiting for years for this moment. You’re so excited. At the same time, I’ve been dreading this moment.”
The lesson for me is: so many of the decisions we make today feel like society has to make them for us. But we can’t forget that in our home, we still have to make our own decisions. We do have to figure out the balance, because a teenager doesn’t like to stand out. So how much are we forcing them to stand out to hold our norms in our household? There has to be balance.
But what I recommend is: don’t feel like you don’t have any power. We need the community to partner, as Claudia said—but at the same time, in our household, we still can have rules. We just have to figure out the right balance.
Britt Teasdale (09:23)
I feel like there’s a lot of fear that goes into parenting these days—especially with the constant influx of social media and parenting advice. I’m new to parenting; my oldest is under six. It feels like you used to get most of your parenting information from peers in your community. But now there’s added pressure from everything online—and it’s constant. A lot of it feels fear-based.
Do you find parents are kind of lost in navigating the influx of information? And how do you distinguish what’s evidence-based and what’s not?
David Schreiber (10:01)
I think it’s important to recognize there will never be a shortage of self-help books—and there’s always the next book telling us how to be a great parent.
But everyone has a different child, and we are different kinds of parents. I’d be careful about assuming someone out there has a better idea than you do.
Parents are trying their best—we’re all trying our best. It can be scary at times, but it’s also a wonderful experience. Don’t be scared of being a parent.
And honestly, we all become our best parent when our kids grow up. That’s the reality. We all wish we could start the parenting journey again once we know so much more.
Beth Hope (10:39)
You both mentioned that each of your kids is different—and you have to parent each child differently. And yet so much of parenting feels like trying to parent your kid the same way their friends are being parented. Why do we do that? We know our kids are different, but parents are looking around, and kids are saying, “Yeah, but this kid can…” and “In this household…”
For some reason, we get it in our own houses—and not with others—and it feels like all of this pressure.
Claudia Welke (11:07)
That’s the oldest trick in the book, right? Every teenager points to: “But my friend can stay out this late,” or “My friend can do this,” or “My friend can do that.”
But I want to come back to Britt’s point about parents being scared. I really think that’s important. After working with families for so long, one thing I’ve noticed more and more is that parents are parenting in fear.
We know there’s a youth mental health crisis. Rates of depression and anxiety have increased dramatically over the last 20 years. Rates of suicide have increased significantly—something like 50–60% over the last 20 years. So in a world where we’re so connected to information, parents know so much about other kids struggling.
And I think what I’ve picked up—honestly, I’ve had it in the back of my mind at times too—is: “If I don’t make the right decision… if I don’t let my kid do X, Y, or Z… what if something really bad happens?” In the worst case, we’re talking about suicide. In lesser cases: “Will I be pushing my kid into depression or anxiety?” Or: “My kid already has symptoms of anxiety—am I going to push them over the edge?”
Britt Teasdale (12:40)
And there’s that added layer when your child is struggling, right? There’s parenting when your child seems to be functioning okay—and then parenting when your child is struggling. That’s a whole new level of complexity and emotion… parenting based in fear or fact.
David Schreiber (12:56)
The key here is recognizing we’re talking about emotions. In society today—and in the social media world—everything is about picking a side based on emotion, based on fear.
But our best decisions aren’t made when we’re most emotional. You want to stay as even and calm as possible. Don’t make major decisions during major life events when you’re at your most emotional—and that applies to parenting too.
When patients ask me as a psychiatrist, “What would you do for your child?” I say: you don’t want me to do what I do for my child, because I’ll be distorted in my thinking. You don’t want me to be that subjective. We have to recognize that in ourselves.
Beth Hope (13:37)
So on a basic level, when we’re making decisions as parents, we don’t always know what decision to make. You mentioned self-help books and social media… but how do I know?
Britt mentioned: when our children are struggling, how do I know my kid might need to talk to someone—and who should they talk to? A school counselor? A therapist? Their pediatrician? A family friend? If you don’t know, what do you do?
Claudia Welke (14:10)
The answer is: yes to all of those—as possibilities.
How do you know? I always start with: is there a significant change from their baseline? Are they pulling away from friends? Not engaging in a sport they used to love? Shutting down in conversations?
The key is change—and that change needs to persist. Teenagers are emotional; they’ll have bad days and good days. But is it a change that’s lasting? And is it interfering with functioning? Are they not going to school? Are they not doing the things they love?
I also look at biological signs: how are they sleeping, eating, energy level? Are you seeing changes there?
If you’re seeing those changes, that’s when you might say, “You know what, maybe we need outside help.” And I always tell parents: trust your gut. You know your kid better than anyone. Your gut will tell you if something is off.
And yes—it could be a pediatrician, someone at school, a trusted friend, or a therapist. You just have to start somewhere and start the conversation.
David Schreiber (15:22)
Claudia’s 100% right. A lot of people call me about their child who I’ve never met and ask for my opinion. They’re sometimes surprised when I say, “Well, what do you think?”
You do know your child best. Self-help books and social media might describe a child, but it may not be your child. You need to bring parents back to that confidence: you know your child.
Is this a deviation? Is this something of concern? You’re calling for a reason—something feels different.
Britt Teasdale (15:57)
How long would that type of deviation from the norm last before reaching out for additional support? What’s normal ebb and flow—and when is it indicated they might need more support?
David Schreiber (16:16)
It never hurts to ask. If a concern comes to mind, it usually means there’s some deviation you want to address. The question is: how drastically do you address it?
That could be a school counselor. It could be a pediatrician. There are resources in the community that aren’t “drastic,” where you can get comfort and say, “Hey, what are your thoughts?”
It depends on severity. If it’s more concerning, there are other routes I’d recommend. But if you’re trying to feel it out, there are supports to start with.
Claudia Welke (16:57)
I agree. Level of impairment points you to the intervention.
The “bible” of psychiatry—the DSM—often uses two weeks as a marker: if you’re seeing symptoms for two weeks, we start to consider something more significant.
But that’s not a hard rule. You might see your kid struggling for a week and say, “You know what, I’m going to have them talk to Aunt Jeannie,” if they have a good relationship with her. That’s an intervention.
Sometimes we jump to: “Oh my gosh—do they need to go to the hospital?” But we can start with small interventions that can make a difference—or at least give us a window into what might be going on.
And as a society, we’re getting better—but we have a long way to go. Let’s not just sit back. We’ve normalized teens not feeling well. If we notice changes—or a kid saying, “I’m not feeling well”—let’s not sit back. Let’s do something. Even small interventions make a difference. Let’s be more preventative rather than waiting for crisis.
Beth Hope (18:16)
That brings me back to fear-based parenting. On one end, parents can over-catastrophize and take their kid to the ER out of fear. On the other end, parents worry, “If I intervene, I’ll make this into a thing—and what if it’s not a thing?”
What I’m hearing you say is: have a conversation—with someone you trust. There’s no right or wrong, but it’s important to do something.
The hard part is that with teens, connection can be tough. To your point earlier, disconnecting can be typical. So it can be hard to say, “How are you?” or “I’m noticing this,” without getting the door slam or “Leave me alone.”
Any tips for parents on building connection—or balancing connection and control—when they’re getting no information and the teen isn’t talking?
Claudia Welke (19:49)
One thing I’ve thought a lot about—yes, from personal experience—is that kids crave less intense moments. My kids have said to me, “Does everything have to be a big conversation? Does everything have to be a thing?”
I’ve learned I often get the most openness when I’m not trying. Those big “Are you okay?” questions can shut things down.
I get more when we’re driving to Starbucks—low pressure. Or on weekends, or on vacation, when everyone’s guard is down. Doing something we both enjoy creates natural connection.
It’s hard, because you’re juggling so much and you want to check in on academics or tests—but they appreciate that much less than the quiet moments where things unfold naturally.
David Schreiber (21:33)
I appreciate you bringing up connectivity, because technology has stolen opportunities to connect.
We don’t sit at dinner like we used to. Kids don’t have the attention span to watch a movie. If your sound bites are 90 seconds, that’s not a lot of time for meaningful connection.
Preventative medicine is creating natural connectivity before it becomes hard to make those connections. Establish routines. If you can create frequent dinners with no phones at the table—amazing. It might feel like a miracle, but it’s powerful.
We watched a movie a few Saturday nights ago—only three of my five kids could sit through it. But for those three, it was two and a half hours of shared emotion and conversation.
Car rides matter too. It makes me sad that kids don’t know the power of looking out the window. Everyone has to get on their iPad or phone. In my cars, I’ve mandated no technology. You can be bored and look out the window, or you can talk to us.
It’s about establishing those rules—the preventative medicine—before you’re struggling to find connection. Because once you lose it, it’s hard to backtrack.
Beth Hope (23:11)
So I want everyone to hear: if you try to put that rule in at home—and you get pushback—you can just say Dr. David Schreiber, lead psychiatrist of Compass Health Center, said it’s important.
Britt Teasdale (23:28)
My kids are younger, but even with my five-year-old… he started kindergarten this year, and when I pick him up, the first thing I want to do is ask, “How was your day? What happened?” I’m so excited to see him and gather the information—but it was overwhelming him.
So I’ve learned: spend the first 10–20 minutes quiet, and then gently ask questions if he’s ready. It sounds like that’s applicable for teens too. It starts young.
Claudia Welke (24:12)
You’re doing what every good parent tries to do: learning your child. You picked up his cue—he was overwhelmed—so you backed off. Now you probably get those answers later in the day.
Your second child might come running out and tell you everything. And you’ll learn with that child, you do have to ask questions—or they’ll be like, “You don’t care about me?”
It’s a dance—meeting them where they are. They’re little human beings developing their personalities, and we’re learning how to meet them.
Britt Teasdale (25:02)
And even if you come into it with more knowledge the second time… you’re basically starting from scratch. I had no idea that was the case. But you only know what you know.
David Schreiber (25:16)
It’s like the old adage: don’t do unto others what you wouldn’t want done to yourself. You wouldn’t want someone asking you how much you accomplished at work that day. Your kids don’t want to be asked how much they accomplished at school.
And what you said, Britt—about “only knowing what you know”—reminds me: we don’t start from scratch. We start from how we were brought up—the good and the bad baggage in our parenting styles. We have to be insightful and recognize that.
Britt Teasdale (25:49)
That’s another big one—unlearning things you don’t want to bring into your parenting journey. The good and the bad.
Claudia Welke (26:01)
That’s a whole other episode.
Beth Hope (26:03)
Looking at David and seeing Grit behind you—I don’t know how you feel about that book—but something that comes up a lot is: when my kid is struggling—sadness, worry, refusal, shut down—how do I know when to push for resilience versus when to nurture and comfort?
We want to send the message: “I believe you’re capable of hard things.” But when they’re in tears or really struggling, it’s hard to know when to set a limit or when to console. Any guidance?
Claudia Welke (26:58)
This is a place where I truly see it as a dance. We live in a world where there’s concern that kids aren’t building resilience—that we’re rescuing too much. Helicopter parenting can prevent kids from developing coping skills. At some point, they grow old enough that you can’t rescue them, and the world will act on them.
So it’s a dance: sometimes you push, sometimes you pull back. Our kids give us cues—when they need a hug, when they need support, when they can handle more. There’s no easy answer. It’s push a little, pull back, watch their reaction, make sure they’re okay. Not helicoptering—but watching.
And there are times you do need to swoop in. Knowing your child and listening to their cues is what guides you.
David Schreiber (28:26)
One of the greatest achievements as a parent is raising independent adults who don’t need us. Most of us agree with that—but emotionally, it’s hard. “They don’t need us?” What does that mean for me?
One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing what my child needs versus what I need. So much gets confused: “My child needs me,” but sometimes it’s really what I need.
I’d encourage parents to ask: why are you doing something? Is it for your child—or for you? If you can distinguish that, you can make better decisions. Is this my resilience—or their resilience?
Beth Hope (29:16)
Such a good point.
Britt Teasdale (29:17)
Yeah, that’s such a good point.
Beth Hope (29:19)
We’d be remiss sitting across from two psychiatrists with experience in outpatient, PHP, IOP, inpatient—levels of care that many people don’t understand.
How do people know if their kid might need medication? Or what level of care they need? Is it a therapist? A psychiatrist? Intensive outpatient?
First, can you share what the levels of care are? Then we can come back to the medication piece.
David Schreiber (29:54)
In the U.S., the standard levels of care are: outpatient therapy, medication management, PHP/IOP—which is what we focus on—emergency room, inpatient, and residential.
Most people fall into those categories when they need intervention.
When you need more intervention depends on deviations from baseline—and the level of deviation. It also depends on how aggressive you want to be in catching up.
With kids and teens, the three biggest areas to look at are: social life, family life, and school life. Those three give you a picture of functioning.
When people ask me, “Do we need Compass Health Center—PHP/IOP?” I’m looking at: do we need to get ahead of the snowball? Is it moving faster than the support you currently have? PHP/IOP is a wraparound approach: individual therapy, family therapy, medication management if needed, school support—everything working together.
Claudia Welke (31:17)
And parents often worry: “What does this mean about me as a parent?” Whether it’s medication, therapy, a hospital—“Have I failed?”
There’s a lot of guilt. Parents need a mantra: I’m doing the best I can.
Being open to support doesn’t mean you failed. You can start at a lower level—talk to a pediatrician, see what they think. But being open to help is not failure.
David Schreiber (32:19)
And that idea of failing as a parent—this reminds me: someone once told me they wished people talked more honestly about how you can feel after you give birth. People expect you to feel ecstatic, but sometimes you feel really down.
Similarly, parents sometimes mourn that their children didn’t turn out the way they expected—and feel guilty about that. Sometimes society sets unrealistic expectations. Part of our role is helping parents pivot and recognize: there’s an incredible child here. There’s an opportunity to be a parent here. Sometimes we need to shift our expectations—that’s the healthiest thing.
Britt Teasdale (33:15)
That’s part of what we’re trying to do with this podcast—bring up questions like this. When I had my first child, my sister-in-law told me, “You’re going to have this huge cry two or three days after the baby is born—and it’s okay.” I was so glad she told me, because I would have thought something was wrong with me.
So it’s having these conversations—with other parents and experts like both of you—and knowing what our options are.
I want to bring it back to levels of care. I love thinking of PHP and IOP as preventative care—supporting people before an ER visit or inpatient hospitalization is needed.
And for families new to the mental health system, it can be confusing—you really have to advocate for yourself or your child. Can you speak to that?
Claudia Welke (34:40)
This is one of the things David and I are so passionate about: helping people understand what PHP and IOP are—these intermediate levels of care between outpatient and inpatient/residential.
When I describe it to teens, I say: it’s kind of like school. Instead of going to school, you go to treatment. The hours are similar—about 9 to 3-ish. You’re surrounded by a treatment team: an individual therapist, a family therapist, a teacher to help you keep up with school, and a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner to help determine if medication is right for you.
The term “partial hospitalization” sounds scary—anything with “hospital” in it does. But the goal is to normalize it: it becomes part of your day-to-day structure for several weeks or a few months, and then you return to what you love doing.
Most people don’t know what this level of care is. Many parents only know: “My child can see someone once a week,” or they know inpatient, which sounds terrifying.
That’s why part of our mission is to educate. PHP/IOP is not scary. If you walk into these programs, it can look like a school. You’re with people who look just like you, talking about struggles you may relate to. Most people don’t know it exists unless they’ve encountered it personally.
Beth Hope (37:12)
They probably do know someone who’s benefited from PHP or IOP—they just don’t know they know. Because you only know what you know.
Claudia Welke (37:20)
So true.
David Schreiber (37:23)
A lot of people end up inpatient because there’s no other access. The ER is the only access point, so they land inpatient—even if it’s not ideal.
That’s what I love about the partial hospitalization model. When I was an inpatient psychiatrist, people were saying, “I’m not doing well—what’s the solution?” In PHP/IOP, we keep you with your family. We keep you living life while supporting you within that structure.
That leads to better outcomes. You’re practicing skills in real life, not removed from it. And we see low “recidivism”—meaning people are less likely to need to come back repeatedly—because the support is closer to living life.
Beth Hope (38:23)
We talked a lot about what you’re hearing from parents. But what about teens? What are consistent messages you’ve heard from teens—things they wish their parents knew or did differently, or what’s been helpful?
Claudia Welke (38:46)
Kids want to be understood. It sounds cliche, but it’s true. They want parents to understand they’re trying. Their behavior may look like, “I don’t care,” or “I’m disengaged,” or “I’m not trying,” but many times they’re just trying to keep their heads above water.
More and more I hear: “This world is really hard. You may think I’m doing the minimum, but I’m working really hard just to stay afloat. Please understand where I’m coming from.” Adolescents have always felt misunderstood by parents, but it feels especially present right now.
David Schreiber (39:34)
We sometimes don’t give our kids enough credit. They’re insightful, and they often see what’s going on. Sometimes I take a step back and ask: who’s really being the child here—and who’s being the adult?
Britt Teasdale (39:45)
And what you said earlier about mourning—that gap between who we thought our teen would be and who they are—connects to Claudia’s point. Teens want parents to see them as they truly are.
What would you say to a parent who feels like they’re failing right now? They’re listening and it makes sense in theory, but they don’t know how to put it into practice. They feel like they’re failing. What would you say?
Claudia Welke (40:17)
Start with self-compassion. Start with grace. We are all doing the best we can.
Then ask for help. Lean on friends. I’ve actually seen social media be helpful here—parents reaching out to other parents and saying, “This is what’s happening. Where do I start? What resources do you recommend?” That can be a powerful reminder: you’re not alone.
So: self-compassion, and leaning on community.
David Schreiber (41:12)
When people worry about failing, I say: don’t think you’re so unique. We’re all failing at this. And just like our children are learning to be children, we’re learning to be parents.
Britt Teasdale (41:24)
What’s one small thing every parent could do this week to connect more with their teen? And what can they do for themselves this week to support their own mental health?
David Schreiber (41:39)
I’d encourage everyone to find a moment to put down their phone—some period of time this weekend. It will benefit your child, but it’ll benefit you too. Not something drastic—just a period of time.
Claudia Welke (41:52)
I’ll add: it’s really the same answer. Find moments of connection in our busy, technology-filled lives.
It doesn’t have to be a big conversation. It can be side-by-side: listening to music, watching a movie, going for a walk. You could talk about something simple—like a new album that dropped. Meeting them where they are.
And those same moments fill our buckets as parents too.
Britt Teasdale (42:43)
Thank you.
Claudia Welke (42:43)
This has been great—and fun. I’ve really enjoyed the conversation, and hearing from both of you about your own experiences as parents. It feels like a connection point—and that’s why these conversations are so meaningful.
Beth Hope (43:06)
As we wrap up today, we want to keep in mind that teens are feeling more overwhelmed than ever—and so are parents. It can be hard to know what our kids need in the moment, or whether we’re doing the right thing.
Britt Teasdale (43:16)
What we hope you take away from this conversation is that showing up matters more than getting it right.
Meeting teens where they are, creating small consistent moments of connection, and staying curious can make all the difference.
Beth Hope (43:27)
And just as importantly, practicing self-compassion as a parent matters too. None of us have all the answers. We’re all learning as we go. And leaning on your community—a therapist, a mental health expert, or other trusted supports—is not a sign of failure. It’s a sign of care.
Britt Teasdale (43:42)
If this episode brought up questions or concerns about your child—or about your own capacity right now—know that support is available. You don’t have to do this alone.
Britt Teasdale (44:05)
And before we go, let this be a reminder to put the phone down, step away from the screens, and check in with the people around you—including yourself.
Beth Hope (44:14)
Thanks for listening to You Only Know What You Know. We’ll see you next time.
