When Young Adulthood Feels Stuck: A Clinician’s Perspective on What’s Really Going On 

Young adulthood can be a uniquely disorienting stage of life. Expectations rise quickly—school, work, relationships, independence—while many young adults are still figuring out who they are and what they want. When anxiety, depression, trauma, or substance use enter the picture, even small steps forward can start to feel overwhelming. From the outside, it may look like avoidance or “lack of motivation.” From the inside, it often feels like fear, shutdown, and not knowing where to begin. 

To understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and how families and young adults can find meaningful support—we spoke with Catharine Pierce, LCSW, Director of Compass Health Center’s Young Adult Program. Catharine shares what she sees most often in young adults and families who reach out, why the phrase “failure to launch” misses the point, how mental health symptoms interfere with independence, and how parents can communicate in ways that reduce pressure while still building structure and accountability. 

This interview has been lightly edited for grammar and flow. The speaker’s original meaning and intent have not been changed. 

Q&A 

Catharine’s background and why she works with young adults 

Britt Teasdale (BT): Tell us a little about your background and how you found your way into working with young adults. 

Catharine Pierce: I’ve worked at Compass for over five years, and I’ve been the Director of our Young Adult Program for about two and a half. I’ve worked with young adults for most of my career. Before Compass, I worked as the Director of Intake at a residential facility, and I’ve also worked in hospital settings. 

A lot of my background is supporting clients who are struggling with substance use and mental health diagnoses. But I really love the young adult age range. I love the transitions they’re going through—the not knowing what’s next and that balance of angst and hopefulness about their future. 

Something our team talks about a lot is how many clients are disclosing or working through something for the first time, whether that’s trauma, gender or sexuality identities, or navigating adult systems. Helping them navigate some of those things is a big part of the work. 

What families and young adults are saying when they reach out to Compass Health Center 

BT: When young adults or families reach out to Compass, what are some of the common concerns you hear? 

Catharine Pierce: A big theme is the struggle of not knowing what’s next—and not knowing how to navigate the position they’re in at that time. Some young adults are referred by schools. Some parents are concerned about academic progress. Others notice an increase in mental health symptoms and want support before taking big transitions and next steps. 

A lot of parents reach out because they feel stuck too—unsure how to support, unsure how to help their young adult move forward. Often, young adults end up with us because of uncertainty about the future and because their symptoms are really impacting their ability to take steps forward on their own. 

Why the “stuck” feeling is so common right now 

BT: Many parents feel like their young adult is “not on the right track” or seems stuck. Why do you think this feeling is so common right now, and what do you see as contributing factors in the world young adults are navigating? 

Catharine Pierce: I always explain to parents that the behaviors young adults have been engaging in are comfortable. If that’s laying in bed, isolating, not following through on chores or classes—it’s comfortable because the brain is telling them to keep doing it. 

I also think some systems aren’t set up to support young adults in figuring out what’s next: how to make big decisions; how to ask for support; and how to create new habits. We talk a lot about that: How do you create new habits? How do you make decisions? How do you ask for support if you have no idea what to do? 

A lot of the symptoms we see—anxiety, depression, talking about trauma for the first time—come from a place of self-protection. Some young adults try to gain control by not going out, not engaging, not following through. There’s fear about responsibilities—school, work, expectations—and even fear about being close to family and friends and being honest about how much they’ve been struggling. 

They struggle with completing everyday tasks. Things we might consider simple if we’re not struggling with mental health, like brushing your teeth, making your bed, or cleaning your room, can feel really overwhelming when symptoms are intense. 

Screen use, task paralysis, and “this isn’t intentional avoidance” 

BT: Do you see screen use or a lot of time online as part of what’s going on? 

Catharine Pierce: Yes. Some things I encourage parents to look for are passivity and absence—being absent from activities, absent from relationships, not committing to engaging with people. 

We talk about task paralysis a lot. Irritability can show up too, especially when people around them are pressuring them to do things, even something like “Call me back.” Then there’s doom scrolling, laying in bed regularly, and the emotional numbness that may come with these behaviors. 

Some young adults feel numb to expectations, pressures, and responsibilities because engaging with the emotions around those can be really hard. 

I always say: this isn’t intentional avoidance. Our clients are not avoiding out of malice. This is often how their brain and body are responding to stressors. The system just can’t handle it. 

Is this shutdown or dissociation? 

BT: Is that similar to shutting down or dissociation? 

Catharine Pierce: I would say so. From the outside, people may describe what they see as “unmotivated,” “avoiding responsibilities,” or “avoiding life.” That can be really hard for young adults to hear when they’re also thinking, “I brushed my teeth today,” or “I got out of bed,” or “I didn’t self-harm,” or “I didn’t use substances.” 

Again, they’re not usually doing this intentionally. It’s often protection from fears, anxiety about the future, or severe depression. It’s not laziness. 

How parents can communicate without escalating shame or conflict 

BT: What are better ways for parents or caregivers to talk about these patterns without escalating shame or conflict? 

Catharine Pierce: Something our family therapists do so well is focusing on reducing pressure in communication and increasing emotional safety. That might mean scheduling consistent check-in times—like 10 minutes every night before bed, or a weekly touchpoint—so expectations are predictable and conversations don’t only happen in moments of conflict. 

It’s also about balancing structure with partnership. Parents can communicate expectations clearly, and young adults can help guide what support looks like. They’re partners in the progress, not one person managing the other. 

We also focus on what’s appropriate and reasonable. We talk about SMARTER goals at Compass, and young adults set goals for themselves every week. Bringing these goals into family communication can be really helpful. Instead of “Get a job,” it might be “This week, I’ll update my resume and submit one application.” That’s attainable, and it builds confidence when they are able to complete it. 

“Failure to launch” and what it misses 

BT: I want to touch on the phrase “failure to launch,” because it comes up a lot culturally. There’s even a movie with that title, and it’s become shorthand for “unmotivated” or “not growing up.” It also feels stigmatizing—like it carries shame. Why does that framing miss the point, and what’s a better way to think about what many young adults are actually experiencing? 

Catharine Pierce: Britt, I’m glad you brought up the movie, because that’s what I immediately think of when I hear that phrase. If we think about that movie—Matthew McConaughey—he’s in his 30s or 40s, his mom is babying him all the time, he spends time on a boat and golfs, and he isn’t working full time. There are all these things that term becomes connected to. 

As you watch that movie, you see that the only reason he changes his behaviors is because he falls in love with someone who confronts him and asks him to change. I wish it was that easy for all of us! 

The reality is that phrase and that stereotype aren’t applicable to what our young adults are actually going through. Most of our young adults are overwhelmed by choices, afraid of the changes they have to make, and dysregulated or in distress as they move through major life transitions. The phrase “failure to launch” ignores the context and history our young adults are coming from and the society they’re currently living in—where finding a job and managing school at the same time is very tough. It ignores the attempts our clients are making to move forward. 

The word “failure” is also so shameful. It can be demoralizing to be described in that way. All of us as humans begin to internalize the labels that are put on us – our young adults are no different, they start to embrace this label if its used for them.  

How anxiety, depression, and trauma can block independence in young adults 

BT: How do anxiety, depression, and trauma interfere with independence—even when a young adult wants to move forward? 

Catharine Pierce: Those are the big three we see. The symptoms connected to them can prevent young adults from reaching their goals—avoidance, lack of engagement, distress, dysregulation, overwhelm. 

And it’s important to name: this is not indifference. It’s not avoidance of change. It’s often avoidance of feelings because the feelings and symptoms are so overwhelming. 

Young adults may disengage from situations or people because they’re afraid of letting others down, afraid of conflict, afraid of failing. 

Some young adults are learning for the first time how to say, “I’m feeling ___,” and “I’m feeling this because ___,” and then choose a skill to support those feelings instead of sitting in distress. That’s a major developmental and emotional shift. 

Coping behaviors that can show up 

BT: What are some of the more common coping behaviors you see when young adults don’t yet have the language or tools to process big feelings? 

Catharine Pierce: Like you mentioned with that movie example earlier, a lot of our clients don’t yet know how to talk about the big, scary things they’re going through. 

We see substance use a lot. It’s also cultural—young adults are around peers where using substances is normalized. Eating disorders can show up. Self-harm and suicidal thoughts are definitely common in the population we serve. 

We also see isolation, doom scrolling, and relationship struggles, because when there’s a big feeling or a big experience, they don’t know how to talk about it yet. They lean on what’s familiar. 

Less obvious signs a young adult may need more support 

BT: What are some less obvious signs that a young adult may need more support? 

Catharine Pierce: Yes, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and substance use are big ones. Another sign is crisis states: things feel “okay,” then suddenly there’s a blow-up or a crisis and it’s too overwhelming to manage. 

Passivity is another one—feeling disconnected from all things and not knowing how to cope and then turning to substances, eating behaviors, self-harm, or reckless and dangerous activities. 

Some signs can look small, like not texting back for days, not calling, being more secretive, changing the subject, irritability, hopelessness—even when talking about things they used to care about. Lying can be part of it too. 

Helping families think about progress and timeline 

BT: Many parents fear, “What if this doesn’t change?” How do you talk with families about progress and timeline? 

Catharine Pierce: This is such a common fear, and it makes sense. Parents often feel the urge to fix, solve, or motivate through pressure. 

One thing I encourage is that parents notice their own urges and try to step back and use their own skills too. 

In our program, we talk about growth happening through small steps over time. It’s not “two days and you’re fixed.” It’s daily work. 

For parents, progress can look like: Are they showering more? Are they coming to dinner? Are they talking more? Are they smiling more? Are they less irritable? 

In the moment, it can feel like nothing is changing. Often you see progress when you look back and reflect on what you have been able to accomplish. Treatment isn’t linear—we’re teaching skills and diving into hard things while they are with us. That takes time and effort. It is their full time job to focus on using these skills and engaging fully with programming.  

If you’re worried right now: a note to parents and young adults 

BT: If you could say one thing to a parent reading this who’s worried right now, what would it be? 

Catharine Pierce: You’re not alone, and it makes sense to be concerned when your young adult is struggling or disengaged. 

Many parents worry that difficulty now means difficulty forever. I encourage them to remember that young adults’ brains are still moldable. They can learn a lot, and change is possible. 

Readiness to change and willingness to change aren’t things someone either has or doesn’t. It grows over time through experiences, accountability, and success. 

BT: And what would you say to a young adult who’s reading this? 

Catharine Pierce: You’re not alone. Your peers are going through similar things, and connection matters. 

We talk about common humanity, the idea that you and I aren’t that different, and the more we engage, the more we recognize shared struggles. 

When we feel alone, symptoms like anxiety and depression get worse. Talking things through with people who get it really helps. 

Parent support groups in Compass Health Center’s Young Adult Program 

BT: Do we offer parent support groups for parents of young adults? 

Catharine Pierce: Yes. In our Young Adult program, we offer them twice a month. One is more informational—what Compass is, what we provide, and space for parents to ask questions. 

The second is more skills-based: Here’s a skill our clients learned recently, and here’s how you can use it too as a parent or caregiver. 

Often parents leave with connections to one another and that sense of, “I’m not alone.” 

Final thought: when to reach out for mental health support 

BT: Is there anything we haven’t covered that you want families and young adults to know? 

Catharine Pierce: If you’re feeling like you’re in a tough situation, reach out and let us know how we can support. I’m always happy to talk with parents or young adults about what’s going on, what concerns they have, and what it can look like to move from outpatient therapy into a program like ours. 

Bios

Catharine Pierce, LCSW, serves as the Director of Compass Health Center’s Young Adult Program. She has worked at Compass for over five years and brings experience across higher levels of care, including residential and hospital settings. Catharine supports young adults navigating anxiety, depression, trauma, and substance use, with a focus on skills-based treatment, family involvement, and practical steps toward re-engagement and independence. 

Britt Teasdale is a writer, photographer, and creative strategist. As Associate Director of Brand Management and Content at Compass Health Center, she has spent nearly a decade shaping narratives that translate complex clinical ideas into stories that resonate, reduce stigma, and help families access care. She holds an MFA in Creative Nonfiction Writing and began her career in journalism. She also co-hosts Compass’s forthcoming podcast, You Only Know What You Know.